No strings attached

It's likely that in sharing this post, I'll alienate a few people. It's also likely that I'll fail to adequately convey my point. I may very well be misunderstood. Nonetheless, this is something I've thought about time and again and I think it's worth broaching and discussing.

In a nutshell, I've come to the conclusion that blogging can fall victim to an excess of politesse and reciprocity.

I read blogs because they introduce me to new people, places, and ways of looking at things. I read blogs written by people I'm fairly certain I'd adore in real life. I also read blogs written by people I would undoubtedly not get along with. I read blogs because they amuse, educate, pique, entertain, challenge, soothe, inform, or inspire me in some way. I don't read blogs solely because the author reads my blog. There are blogs I read regularly with no reciprocation whatsoever. Conversely, I'm certain there are people who read my blog without reciprocity from me.

I write a blog for a variety of reasons. I write for the sweet challenge of the written word. For the joy of self-expression. For the catharsis of sharing challenges or triumphs. For the connection and camaraderie.

Since at least part of writing a blog involves the pleasure of reaching or connecting with others, I genuinely appreciate comments. A comment is proof that my words have not simply echoed endlessly into the void. (Someone actually read what I wrote!) However, I'm bothered by the idea of tit-for-tat commenting. If I write a post that you can connect with in some way, great. Maybe you relate to what I've said. Or you think I'm off my rocker. Or it makes you laugh. So far so good. But if you leave a comment because you feel that you owe me one, or because it seems like you should, that's not so good. I hate the idea that a person would ever feel an obligation to comment. If visits and comments are nothing more than rote reciprocations, I think they lose some of their value.

At times, I receive a comment from an individual I've not heard from before. It makes sense to pay a visit and see if there's something of interest to me at their blog. Realistically, there's a possibility nothing will grab me and that will be the end of it. I'm not being mean, just honest. It simply isn't possible for me to forge a connection with every person who reads my blog and vice versa.

Sometimes when an online friend leaves a comment on one of my posts, it reminds me to check in on them. And when I arrive at their blog, I may find something I want to reply to. But I may just read a few things without commenting. I read oodles of posts that I don't comment on. If I don't leave a comment, it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the post. If I took the time to compose a meaningful response for every item I read, I would have to give up blogging: it would consume far more time than I have to spare. It's a shame that comments are nearly the only indicator we have that an item's been read.

If I frequent your blog, it's because I enjoy it. I visit when time allows. I read what interests me. I may or may not comment, so you won't always be aware of my presence. If you read my blog and you suspect I don't regularly read yours, don't take it personal. There are only so many hours in the day.

I think we might all be more content if the acts of writing and reading blogs were less closely entwined.

My attitude toward blogging is probably influenced by my age and my introvert personality. I suspect my age group is less accustomed to the interactive, give-and-take nature of the online world. My formative years were a more passive age, e.g. television and radio did not invite or expect a response. Whatever the reason, sometimes I just want to absorb without the need to respond.

For me, blogging is a source of enjoyment. I refuse to let it become a job, with a list of visits to be made, and a quota of comments to be left. That would zap all the fun out of it.

I'd love to hear from you if you have any thoughts you'd like to share on this issue. But, please, only if you feel like it. :)