77 posts tagged “humor”
"I know, you know, there's no denying it, these are scary and uncertain economic times. Property values continue to plummet like a six-year-old out of a mylar balloon. Retirees are trading in their 401(k)s for a box of Special K. And the dollar has been slapped around so hard it's asked the euro for a safe word."
Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report (11/11/09)
Yeah, that about sums it up.
"The young always have the same problem — how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another."
–Quentin Crisp
In a Kay Jewelers Valentine's Day ad, a man gives his sweetheart a music box she had when she was a little girl, along with a diamond ring. "Oh, Zack," she breathlessly declares as the tiny dancer twirls, "I think I know just how she feels."
Sleeper's unsentimental retort: "You feel like you're trapped forever in a little box and forced to spin around endlessly?"
I'm currently reading The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle and I just have to laugh at the relationship between bumbling Captain Cully and Molly Grue. The Captain's tactless but memorable way with words cracks me up.
"Ah, that's only Molly Grue's way. She guards me better than I do myself. I am generous and easy; to the point of extravagance, perhaps -- an open hand to all fugitives from tyranny, that's my motto. It is only natural that Molly should become suspicious, pinched, dour, prematurely old, even a touch tyrannical. The bright balloon needs the knot at one end, eh, Molly? But she's a good heart, a good heart."
Here's another good one:
"Is it my fault you didn't keep up with your weaving? Once you had your man, you let all your accomplishments go. You don't sew or sing any more, you haven't illuminated a manuscript in years -- and what happened to that viola da gamba I got you? ... We might as well be married, the way she's gone to seed."
I hope this clip brings a smile to your Monday...
